Random Stuff #52

I was watching commercials last night and Fox's show The Following came on every once in awhile.

These days Justin Beiber looks like a mixture of Peter Pan and KD Lang.

Presbyterian Church's sign said "Trade-Ins Welcome". I took them a Yugo and the Reverend punched me in the stomach and put me in a headlock.

Just saw a Planned Parenthood in North Hollywood. Now that's an oxymoron.

Wow! Just saw Zero Dark Thirty. That Tony Soprano has done well. He went to a Mob leader to becoming the Director of the C.I.A.

Cooper Mashup #1

What happens if you mashup two specific Celebrities? You get the writer of this blog.
TODAY: Larry David + Bruce Willis = Steve Cooper

Larry David:

 Bruce Willis:

 Steve Cooper:

State of the Union Address

It would be awesome if Biden fell asleep and Boehner start eating popcorn. They are distracting sitting there.

Breaking News: Paul Ryan's ears are still HUGE!

Unknown fact: 20 years ago John Boehner was the foremost Robert Conrad impersonator. (He used to walk around with a battery on his shoulder.)

You know Obama is like, "Come on Dorner, of all days you pick today. Now no one is going to be excited for my State of the Union address."

Do you think John Boehner uses the high pressure beds, the stand-up beds or gets the spray-on when he tans?

Random Stuff #51

After watching Nyquil commercials, I've come to the conclusion that Drew Brees catches a lot of colds during the season.

Just saw an Armenian Driving School. There's an oxymoron.

I think the Joe Greene classic Super Bowl commercial would have been better if he threw the empty bottle at the kid instead of his jersey.

Why do the salespeople on the Best Buy commercials seem so helpful but when you go in an actual store they are f*cking dopes?

When I die I'm going to get cremated so at my service people will sing "The Coop, The Coop, The Coop is on fire, we don't need no water..."

Random Stuff #50

Infomercial for My Pillow and they call it Best Pillow Ever. Also saw Greatest Pillow Ever. Geez! All I want is a regular f*cking pillow!

Feel bad for the Teens on A&Es Bio Channel Show, Psychic Kids. They have no excitement when they open their College Acceptance letters.

Sometimes when I'm in a rut for inspiration I put on my WWMD bracelet. (What Would Madea Do.) And then all is fine.

Hands down, old Latino Dudes with checked short sleeve shirts, tan cowboy hats, jeans with big belt buckles and pointy boots rule! Serious!

Today from 10-4 there's a contestant search in Venice for the Biggest Loser. Just think how many food trucks will be parked near the beach.
 

Random Stuff #49

Wait, National Geographic Channel's show Wicked Tuna isn't about an awesome seafood restaurant in Boston?

Progresso says the beans and veggies in their soup can lower your cholesterol. They don't say is all the sodium can jack your blood pressure.

Unbelievable! I was trying to cut a Mango and got so frustrated I threw it out my window and hit my elderly neighbor downstairs in the head.

Watching the Geico commercial with Eddie Money. He looks a mixture of the movie version of the Grinch and Val Kilmer.

They are now calling Kim & Kanye, Kimye. They should have a more appropriate name, SlutJerk.

Random Stuff #48

Must see movie: Robin Williams plays and English Teacher who inspires Zombies to seize the day. The Walking Dead Poets Society.

Shannon Doherty looks like a mixture of Chelsea Handler and an otter.

Oprah will interview Curtis Armstrong about his use of performance enhancing drugs during the Revenge of the Nerds series.

Colin Kaepernick is such a dedicated Professional Football Player that he went and got the 49ers playbook tattooed on his arms.

Sometimes to piss off my neighbors when I recycle I put all my paper, cardboard and boxes in a Hefty bag and throw it in the plastics bin.